Right now am I sitting in a hotelroom in New York City, and i could be anywhere in the world still doing most of the work I am doing, there is just a few bits and pieces that keeps me having to go to the Office in Lund.
But 90% of my job, i can do wherever and almost also wherever I am in the world.
this is thanks to some of the tools ive got to my hands, I have my Very Light and mobile Laptop, ive got my tablet, and the most important of them all my Xperia cellphone.
Reflecting of this, is that, with this life and work i have, and the mobility Internet and our devices gives us, I can do my job almost as good from a Hotelroom in NYC, a coffeeshop in Sydney, or why not a beach in Spain.
think of it... that is just mindblowing.
I love this life, i love this job, its just that Amazing and cool.
I had a dream the other night, about that we only get one life
You are like the net underneath the ledge, if i go falling of the edge, you are there catching me
But at the same time, you are the one pushing me over the edge
dont know if this is a temporary crush, but i do know i ALWAYS know wat i want, and this is no difference, but, at the same time, i do not know how to get it, this is new to me.
you are like my cryptonite,
Its a strange feeling that comes up on me when i am close to you?
normaly i am very confident, i know where i stand and what i want, but as soon as i get close to you its like i tremble, i get all insecure.
I know exactly what i want, but this time and this time only i dont know how i will get it or IF I will get it.
Its so easy when we speak and we can talk about everything, atleast thats how i feel, but when i see you, when i am close to you, i get all shy, why is that?
I cant remember the last time i felt this or was like this,
You are my cryptonite!
you take all my powers away
I am so happy as it scares the crap out of me at the same time, my little princess is growing up and it goes so fast.
From the first time the doctor places you in my arms
i knew i met death before I'de let you meet harm
Although question arouse in my mind, would I be man enough
Cause i knew i loved you more than life itself
Then to my knees i begged the lord please
Let me be good daddy all she needs
Love, knowledge, discipline to
I pledged my life to you
(Just the two of us - Will Smith)
Wasnt to long since she was my little princess, as she always will be, and now she is a big girl, she just started to take cafe of her self in the morning, going up on her own alarm, leaving home after i left for work, making her own breakfast, coming home on her own right after school and making something to eat, doing her homework and everything, before I even get back home from school
and i know there is a boyfriend to, think i need to have a chat with him, as i know they have "pussats" that is not a real Kiss, but close enough.
So I am a very proud daddy, but its a hard work to be a dad to a very cute girl, that is growing up so very fast
and it scares the SH#T out of me.... will i be man enough as Will states in the song? have i tought her well, am i a good rolemodel, i try to, i really do.
Never ever stop working towards your goals
this is a storry about how i reached so many of my goals, most of it without knowing or realizing it until long time after
My first goal was to get a Medal, i had been compeeting in Judo for 3 years i think without ever getting a a single medal, BUT i never ever gave up
than i was entered in both Sydkuppen and SkåneSerien, but you had to get a medal in SkåneSerien before you where allowed to compete in Sydkuppen, the thing was that Sydkuppen was the week before Skåneserien.
And not only that, I took muy very first medal in Sydkuppen, a SilverMedal to, so now i had an even more crucial goal to reach, GETTING a medal in Skåneserien, and guess what, i sure did!
Second goal i didnt even know was a goal until i started to look back on my life,
my mother told me i when i was younger said i wanted to work at Ericsson, as i was interested in Electronics and futuretech and such when i was younger.
and end of 2004, i got a phone call from Manpower, they had seen my profile and thought it would fit in to one of their clients applications, I went to SonyEricsson to meet christer for an interview and guess what, I GOT THE JOB!
if i look a bit closer, around 2001 I helped out alot during MLM events and felt this is something i like doing, and be part of, And i remember saying this several times and it was a very strong feeling that its fun and ide love to do more.
Well 4 years ago, i was asked at my previous job at SonyEricsson, if ide like to support at MobileWorld Congress that year, and it was my time in the team to do the next travel/trip.
Apparently i did such a good job, that they the year after not just requested someone to support, but they requested and fought for it to be me comming and supporting them on the event.
and one thing led to another event, and some more events, and today i am working as an EventManager within SONY.
so there is 3 GOALS that i reached becouse i wanted to, i expressed that i wanted to, and i did a really GOOD job when doing it, so that it became my reality!
with this said, DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR GOALS they can and will be your reality.
Not often i bang myself on my chest (doesnt sound as good in English as in swedish).
But sometimes you acctually have to realize and be proud of what you have accomplished and that there is things you are really good at.
I think i have found my thing, i LOVE my job, and what i get to do, and when you get a call from you Manager, asking if you can go to New York to support an Setup there cause they feel more secure with me there.
Or that i in the last minute gets asked to go to London, just to make sure we get the setup and everything working correctly, that makes me realize that even though im normaly humble and never take the credit myself, and i will not do today either, BUT, i acctually think and believe that I am this good.
Yes its always a team effort, but still i know my things, and i know that i know it.
Do life need to be so complicated, or is it just us humans that make it more complicated than it is?
i wonder this, can we be to honest, or to truthfull, is it possible to tell a person to much?
and why is it so?
right now there is so much questions in my head, about my future, will i be alone, will i meet someone, maybe i have it better of alone, or how hard can it be to find someone that is like me?
do I live in the right country, or should i move, what would happen if i move?
where should i move.
BUT then i wouldnt want to move, as that would mean that i would have to leave the only BIG love i have in my life, my daughter!
so back to the original question, DO LIFE NEED TO BE SO COMPLICATED?
I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
but with the beast inside
theres nowhere we can hide
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
Its where my deamons hide
Its where my deamons hide
Dont get to close
Its dark inside
Its where my deamons hide
Its where my deamons hide
Wonderful lyrics from Imagine Dragons
that shows some of the feelings i have inside of me right now, some things i can not write down yet.
And its all going back to the top questions, why do we make it so damn complicated.
This is my time and my decisions, as i have choosen them.
You dont need to understand,
but this is the way i do things
and its up to you if you want to be with me.
This part of the lyrics from a swedish song by Melissa Horn, says part of how my life is and how I feel,
When beeing on an airplane and sitting and listening to music, you do some thinking to, sometime its just jibbrish taht comes out, but sometimes my head tend to wander of into subjects that is closer to me and my life.
The last few weeks in berlin, ive met some new wonderful friends, and some that ive got into talking about things like relationships and things like that.
For some reason the question about why I am single, and how come ive almost choosen to be single comes up, and my questions is almost as easy as its hard,
I do not miss beeing in a relationship, My life at this point is pretty amazing, and as i see it right now, and as the lyrics above so clearly state, is that for someone to come into my life, they need to accept my job, my travel, me beeing at the gym 5 times a week, and that my little Michelle always have and always will have the biggest part of my heart.
And right now I havent met anyone that would make me consider changing any of the above.
So i cant ask of anyone else to change just because i am not willing to do this.
This is not rocket sience, its basics, I love the life i am living, and that is the life i have choosen right now.
So will as ive had visitors from more countries than sweden, swap from writing in swedish to writing in English.
the content will still stay the same, it will still be me writing when i need to clear my head, when there is thoughts that need to get out, this is my valve, to release whats going on inside myhead.
Texten tagen från Kim Cesarions hit I love this life.
och har blivit lite av min favorit låt just nu, och jag älskar den delen ovan av texten, för den passar så bra in på mig.
Jag älskar verkligen mitt liv just nu, och det är nog en av anledningarna också till att det är svårt för mig att dejta, att hitta en partner, någon att dela mitt liv med.
Inte för att jag mår bra, inte för att jag är så positiv som jag är, utan för att pga att jag mår så bra och trivs så bra med mitt liv, är det väldigt svårt för mig att motivera för mig själv att förändra något.
Jag vill inte ändra på min träning, och jag är på gymmet 6 dagar i veckan i princip, jag vill inte ändra på att jag reser så mycket med jobb för det är det som gör att jag älskar mitt jobb så mycket som jag gör.
Jag vill inte ändra på hur bra jag och Michelle har börjat få det tillsammans, med allt bara hon och jag gör, vi har vår Father Daughter date en gång i veckan då vi går ut och äter, vi har freddag och lördags mys med film och någon god mat. Vi har våra mini semestrar, och försöker alltid ha något vi kan se fram emot tillsammans.
Så att släppa in någon ny i mitt liv skulle innebära att något eller flera av dessa saker som idag får mig att må så bra skulle behöva ändras, för jag använder nästan all min tid redan, och att då ge tid till någon annan skulle bli en större förändring.
Visst känner jag ibland att det hade varit underbart att dela det med någon, men samtidigt, då måste jag verkligen hitta någon som har förståelse för att jag är väldigt sällan hemma, jag tränar mycket och reser mycket med jobb, och däri ligger moment 22.
Eller snarare jag vill se mig själv vara "brave", desto längre tiden går desto kräsna blir jag har jag märkt.
Det finns kvällar jag inget önskar mer än att ha någon att spendera med dem.
Sen samtidigt så har jag det väldigt bra just nu och är nog räddning den förändring som det skulle medföra att träffa någon
För jag har det väldigt bra just nu, jag trivs med jobb, trivs med mitt och Michelles liv, med min träning.
Och att träffa och ta in en ny person i mig, i vårt liv just nu skulle ställa till det väldigt mkt, eller tvinga mig till ganska stora förändringar som jag inte vet om jag är redo för?
Eller?
Det är väldigt svårt för samtidigt som jag inte saknar någon i mitt liv så gör jag det. Känner mig kluven, för att om jag ska träffa någon så är det så mkt som måste klaffa, jag har betat mig genom min beskärda del av förhållanden och är inte redo för fler test runder. I want the real deal Eller inget alls!
Har ni föresten hört låten "i wanna see you be brave" o inte lyssna på den helt fantastisk
Och den summerar upp mig ganska bra,
För jag har märkt att jag skrämmer många genom min ärlighet, jag tror på principen att älskar du någon eller tycker väldigt bra om den personen så säg det,
Allt du inte göra eller undviker är också många gånger det du kommer ångra att du aldrig sa eller gjorde
Har upptäckt att sitter man många timmar på ett flyg så hinner man tänka väldigt väldigt mycket.
Så denna bloggposten kommer vara väldigt mycket "ranting" och blandade tankar
Skriver inte så mkt på denna bloggen längre, kan dels bero på tidsbrist men även att saker och ting är egentligen väldigt bra just nu.
Men trots det så behöver jag och tycker det är ganska skönt att skriva av mig då och då.
Även om allt är bra nu så känner jag mig samtidigt väldigt splittrad, något jag gör varje gång jag kommer hem efter en resa, tror det beror mycket på att jag inte känner mig hemma när jag är hemma, det enda som egentligen gör att jag stannar åkte min dotter, annars hade jag nog flyttat utomlands för länge sedan, någonstans där jag känt mig mer hemma.
Det är en jobbig balansgång för jag mår som bäst när jag inte är hemma och det är en jobbig känsla. En känsla som jag inte riktigt vet hur jag ska hantera.
"i wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you. But whit the beast inside there is nowhere we can hide!"
Right now am I sitting in a hotelroom in New York City, and i could be anywhere in the world still doing most of the work I am doing, there is just a few bits and pieces that keeps me having to go to the Office in Lund.
